His Butler, Loving
by ConsultingDetective221B
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive is having a particularly bad day of remembering the death of his parents, when his demonic butler, Sebastian comes in. Can this odd choice of a servant console his young master? Or is there more to it than meets the eye?
1. Chapter 1

It was raining. Yes, that must have been what started it. Mr. Phantomhive was always a bit more down than usual on rainy days. They brought back memories of the fire, seeing as rain falls much in the same way as ash. On most occasions such as this, young Ciel would order his servants to stay away for the day, slipping meals through a crack in the door. On this day, however, it had slipped his mind. The order was left unsaid. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Yes? Who's there?" Ciel's voice cracked in the middle of his question.

"It's just me, master." Sebastian, the butler with the closest connection to the child, slipped through the door. "I simply wished to inquire as to what you might be wanting for supper... Master, are you alright?" He had noticed a single tear dripping down Ciel's cheek. A butler must be observant of his master's emotions, even if mostly blocked by a large chair and desk.

"I'm fine." Ciel sniffled and wiped the tear from view. "Now leave me."

"As you wish, master." The butler hesitated before turning to exit the room. He was pulling the door shut behind him when he heard a scream coming from the chair. "Master?!" Concerned for the boy, Sebastian burst back into the room. He rushed over to the desk and knelt down on one knee next to his sobbing master's chair. The scream he heard was much the same as one makes after severely injuring their leg; it was a sound of agonizing pain. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I- *sob* I'm fine! *sob* Now go *sob* away!" Ciel had curled up into a ball on his chair, his arms wrapped around his legs, face hurried in his knees, slowly rocking back and forth.

"Sir, let me assist you to your bed." Sebastian began to rise.

"No! I don't want to go to bed! And stop calling me 'master' or 'sir'. It's Ciel. That is my name and you shall call me by it."

"But sir-"

"It's. Ciel." He shot the butler a stern look.

Sebastian sighed. "Ciel, what's troubling you?" He put his hand on the boy's shoulder, displaying his concern for this outburst.

"I've told you." He turned away from the kind gesture. "It's nothing."

"If you insist..." He stood up and, once again, headed for the door. He made it half way across the study when he heard Ciel whimper softly.

"W- wait."

"Hm?"

"I- I'm sorry. Please come back?"

"Of course, master." Sebastian walked back to the crying child. This time, rather than assuming his previous position beside the chair, he knelt in front of it, facing his master directly.

"R- really. You can call me Ciel. I mean it."

"That would be improper."

"I- I don't mind. Really. It's- it's okay. I insist."

"Ciel."

"Yes?"

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"C-could you carry me to my room, please?"

"Of course. Your wish is my command."

Ciel lifted his arms, wrapping them around the butler's neck (much resembling a hug) as he was scooped up without trouble and carried down the hall. The boy was now limp as a rag doll aside from his arms, still embracing the muscular shoulders of the butler.

"Here we are. Allow me to help you into your night clothes." Sebastian set him down and took off his tailcoat before helping the boy to undress. After gently sliding him into his nightshirt, Sebastian slowly lowered himself to sit on his knees at Ciel's feet. Ciel, who's sobbing after all this timehasn't really let up, wiped his still flowing tears on his sleeve and hung his head.

"Ciel," Sebastian took him by the hand. "Please tell me what's got you so upset."

Tearing himself free, Ciel flung himself upon the butler with a deep longing for comfort. "Don't leave me, Sebastian. Don't ever leave me." He tightened his grip.

Sebastian was surprised by by this display at first. After a few seconds, he returned the embrace, pulling the boy's head to his chest with one hand and wrapping the opposite arm about his shoulders, holding him firmly to his torso. Ciel just sat there in his lap, crying violently, grasping the butler as if his life depended on it. They sat like this for nearly an hour. The only sound was the rain on the window and Ciel's staggered breathing between sobs. When the tears slowed and his sobs became less frequent, he began to realize something.

"Sebastian, why are you holding me?"

Sebastian paused for a moment before answering. "It is my duty as butler of the Phantomhive household to ensure my master's sanity is intact. What is it exactly that's got you in such a mood?"

Ciel sighed. "It's the rain. It brings back memories of my parents." He looks down in grief. "The way the light glistens off the droplets turns them a sickly gray colour, quite similar to the colour of the ash that fell that day. The day all I knew and loved went up in flames." He snuggled in closer to Sebastian, nuzzling his head against the butler's chest.

Sebastian began to caress the boy's head, running his gloved hand through his hair. Sebastian ALWAYS wore gloves. They hid the tattoo that kept his contract with Ciel. On this occasion, however, he felt it only appropriate he take them off. Ciel was the only other person there anyway. He bit the finger of his glove and carefully slid it off, then did the same with the other. Now, with his bare hands, he could properly hold his crying master and feel the boy's soft, delicate hair.

"Everything will turn out alright, Ciel," Sebastian whispered gently. "I promise. I will keep you safe." He bent down his neck, resting his cheek atop the child's head.

"Sebastian?" Ciel mumbled against the chest of his butler.

"Yes?"

Are you sure it's merely the contract binding you to me and nothing more?"

Sebastian sighed. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Oh." Ciel sounded a bit dismayed by the news. "Well I fear... I fear I cannot say the same."

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean... I mean to me, you are more than just a butler. I'm not entirely sure what this feeling is, but it's the closest I've come to having parents in years. It isn't quite the same, but it's close enough for me. Sebastian, I've thought on it for a long time now, and I've come to the conclusion that I love you. You're NOT simply a butler to me anymore. You are the closest thing to a father I will ever have again."

Sebastian knew not how to react to Ciel's confession. Should he stick to what he said before or should he tell the boy he felt the same, true or not? He didn't want to speak the truth and have the professionalism of his being a butler be blurred because of the boy's reaction. But he didn't want to lie either. If the master found out he had lied, he'd be furious. All Ciel would need to do would be to order that the truth be told and he would have no choice but to tell. Even demons aren't trained for this sort of situation. Ciel felt his butler becoming tense.

"What's wrong, Sebastian? Is it what I said?"

"No, sir. It's just I believe I left the oven on. I should go check."

"Can I come along?" Ciel looked up hopefully.

"Well, I certainly won't stop you." He smiled at the child's eagerness to tag along rather than keep to himself. Could it be that admitting his feelings has allowed his near-permanent depression to lessen? Sebastian sighed to himself, speaking under his breath. "Only time will tell..."

"What did you say?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing of importance. Just thinking aloud. Are we going?"

"Yes." Ciel climbed slowly out of Sebastian's lap, reluctant to leave his new-found sanctuary. Sebastian allowed him up and was reaching for his glows when Ciel grabbed his tattooed hand.

"No gloves. I like your hands. They're warm like Mother's were, but strong like Father's. Stronger, really."

"But my mark- the others mustn't know."

"I could do this." Ciel wrapped his other hand around the butler's so his palm covered the demonic emblem. "Well?"

"I suppose this shall work."

And so they left the room and headed for the kitchen. All the while Ciel wondered if what his butler said was true. Did he really not care beyond the contract? Perhaps it was wrong of him to show his feelings, especially in such a manner. After all, he is to spend a lifetime with Sebastian. Wouldn't want it to be awkward for eternity.

Thankfully, in their stroll down the hall, they didn't encounter any of the four other servants.

"There we go. Oven's off. Shall we go back to your room now?"

"No. I think I shall like to go and sit in the garden. The rain has stopped and the moon is rather bright tonight."

"In your night clothes?"

"Sure, why not?"

As they walked the silver moonlit path, it dawned on Ciel how late it must be. They reached the bench, but neither one sat.

"Ciel, are you not going to sit?"

"You sit first."

"... If you insist." Sebastian sat down on the bench and motioned for Ciel to sit beside him. When Ciel began toward the bench, the butler realized that it was not the bench Ciel was after, but his own lap instead! Rather than stopping the child or asking what he was up to, Sebastian merely moved his arms out of the way and welcomed the boy's advance. Ciel crawled up onto the butler' slap and snuggled in yet again. This time, Sebastian didn't hesitate to hold Ciel firmly in his arms. He strokes Ciel's hair sweetly and once more rested his cheek on the boy's head.

Ciel yawned. "Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"I like it here."

"In the garden?"

"No. In your arms. It's soothing: the way you pull me close, how you run your hand through my hair, how you keep a firm grip around me as if you never want to let me go. Are you certain you're bound to me only by the contract? The way you hold me, the look in your eyes when I crawl into your arms, it seems as though there is something more."

"Well, I am one Hell of a butler," Sebastian smirked.

Ciel yawned again. "But do you think of me as more than your master? Oh, never mind. I'm too scared of what you might say. But, either way, could we at least pretend it's more? I do love a game."

"Of course, my lord. Only when we're alone though. Otherwise it really would be improper. Is that alright?"

"Woof." Ciel nuzzled in closer still and fell asleep.

Once Sebastian thought he was out, he lifted the sleeping child and carried him back to his room. After ticking him into bed, the butler decided it only fit to spend the night with his master.

As he sat down next to Ciel, he muttered something quietly to himself, "Only it won't be just pretend." It was then that a smile started to grow upon the innocent-looking Ciel's face.


	2. Chapter 2

The smell, why was it so strong? It certainly wasn't an unusual scent for Ciel to detect so early in the morning, but it was never this strong. Why was he on his left side? Ciel almost always slept on his right. How did he sleep like this? What was he holding onto? Why was there something else in his bed? It was much larger than him and it felt familiar, but he wasn't sure why. But the smell... It smelled so close! Mere inches from his face. Wait. What's this? The confused child moved his head. There was something in the way. The same thing he had his arm over? Yes, it must be. And his pillow, why was it so firm? No, it couldn't be his pillow what was it then? He couldn't take it any longer. He opened his eyes.

"Good morning, master."

Ciel froze, his face turning a brilliant red. It was his butler, Sebastian. The man was laying on top the covers with the boy's head nested in the hollow of his shoulder, an arm embracing his ribcage. He boy grew a greatly confused expression on his face. Seeing this, the butler felt he owed an explanation.

"I'm deeply sorry, master," his voice, deep and soothing, echoed in Ciel's ear. "I have not prepared your breakfast this morning. You see, after our little incident last night, I figured I should stay with you a while to ensure your well being. I sat on the edge of the bed for a bit before relaxing and taking the position you find me in now. I was about ready to get up four hours ago, but you seemed to have sensed my movement and rolled over to prevent my escape. I tried moving you, but I must say you are quite a fierce snuggler!" He chuckled, an endearing smile spreading wide across his face.

Embarrassed by his own subconscious actions, Ciel turned an even richer shade of scarlet. He burriedhis face further into Sebastian's shoulder.

The butler laughed at his master's sulking. "It's quite alright. I swear I shan't let the others know. It will simply remain between you and myself."

Ciel blinked a few times before he completely understood what had happened and could conjure a coherent reply. He looked up to make eye contact, but all he could see was his butler's neck and jaw.

"Sebastian, you could have moved me if you truly wanted to. You know that. You're much stronger than I am."

"... I didn't want to harm or wake you."

"... Right." Ciel knew there was another reason. It was just a matter of getting him to admit it. But how? This might take some time.

"So, are you going to permit me to prepare your breakfast?"

"Hm? Oh! Um, yes. Of course." The young master, having forgotten his positioning in relation to the butler, slowly lifted his head and released his grip.

Sebastian slid carefully to his feet and started toward the kitchen. "One more thing, sir." He paused, debating whether or not to ask his question. "Would you prefer scones or toast with your breakfast this morning?"

"Scones." Ciel knew this wasn't the question his butler intended to ask. "S- Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"Did yesterday really happen, or was it all a dream?"

"Yes, it happened." He turned yet again to exit the room, this time with success. Damn. The child remembered. He had hoped Ciel would've forgotten. At least his final six words of the night were still kept only in his memory.

Back in Ciel's room, the previous night became more and more vivid in his mind. How could Sebastian deny any connection to him aside from the contract when he held the boy so gently? The way he took off his gloves to touch Ciel, it couldn't be just the contract, could it? Perhaps he was reading too much into it. The child began pondering what the butler had told him. He claimed to be bound only by contract, yet he never really denied any feelings. But if he said it was merely the contract and nothing more, that must be the truth. Oh, how confusing this all is! He planned to somehow force the truth to come forth. For now, he would remain calm and simply weasel his way around it.

"Young master, your tea for this morning is honey sweetened green tea. I thought we could change things up." Sebastian displayed no sign of any deeper feelings, but then again demons are quite skilled when it comes to maintaining a composed expression when they believe it necessary. "I have prepared smoked salmon and rice with scones for the main course and a chocolate almond cake for afterward. Is there anything else I can get you?"

Ciel picked up the tea and took a sip. "No, that will do." He placed it carefully back on the saucer before devouring his morning meal. "Sebastian."

"Yes, my lord?"

"What is on today's schedule?"

"Your fiancée, Lady Elizabeth, is due to arrive around four." He took out his pocket watch to check the time. "It's quarter after noon as of now, so you have a tad less than three hours to take care of whatever you may need. Let me know if you require my assistance." The butler stood for a moment in silence. "Do you require my assistance?"

"Actually, I do. For Lizzie's sake, I would like to attempt another dance lesson... If you could assist me."

Sebastian was surprised by his master's request. Ciel hated dancing. Why would his change now? And why would he not ask if his dance tutor was available? She isn't either way, but still... Perhaps it is a test. He knew there was only one way to find out.

"Of course, my young lord. We shall begin with the waltz. If you would, please place your arm around my waist... Very good. Now, here we go."

It took a while for Ciel to adjust to having such a tall "lady" for his dance partner, but he didn't complain. He simply continued his lesson and let it slide. Eventually, he began to grow accustomed to the situation and dancing became less and less of a problem for him. The two glid gracefully across the study floor. There was no audible music, yet they both seemed to hear the same beautiful song in their heads. The rhythm beat strongly in their hearts. One two three, one two three... Over and over they twirled and spun, never missing a step. A waltz it may have been, but somehow it was different; so elegant, so passionate, and not a soul would know aside from them. It seemed like hours that they danced. Their stride slowed. They stopped.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"What was that?"

"The waltz. I must say, you did quite well, my lord. I didn't know you possessed such talent."

"To be honest, neither did I." Ciel looked down, embarrassed to have done so well just for his butler.

"Heh. Perhaps I brought this on. I mean, you've never seemed to show any sign of talent with anyone else. I didn't think you had it in you." Sebastian seemed genuinely surprised by the abilities of his master. Was he lying and putting on that he couldn't dance all this time? Or was it the demon that brought forth the child's passion and put it to the test?

"Say that you did, so what?"

"I don't know. Since it would all be you, only you could answer."

"But it wasn't only me. I understand that you know how to dance already and are quite good, but I've never seen you put so much into it. Why is that? And what time is it?"

Sebastian checked his pocket watch again. "Half past one. Excuse me. I must make preparations before Lady Elizabeth arrives. I'll be in the kitchen fixing a treat for the two of you." He took off before Ciel could say anything.

"Sebastian! Wait!" Ciel sighed. "Damn. He's gone. He didn't even answer my question." He looked down dejectedly. He was sure the demon did that on purpose. He's too good at finding his way out of things. "I guess this means I'll be venturing to the kitchen then." He walked out of the study and headed down the hall. He stopped at the kitchen door. It was shut. Ciel looked down.

"Tanaka?! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Hoh hoh hoh."

The boy sighed. "You're hardly of any use at all anymore, are you? Oh well. Carry on." Ciel was about to step around the small, kneeling man when the door creaked open.

"Ah, young master. I wondered if you'd be visiting me. Oh and thank you, Tanaka. I told him to guard the entryway. This evening's dessert is meant to be a surprise. We wouldn't want to spoil that now, would we?" Sebastian had purposefully shut the boy out? What was the meaning of this?

"It makes sense. Sebastian, can we talk?" Ciel glared menacingly at his butler.

The demon cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Of course. What is it you'd like to discuss?"

"Allow me into the kitchen?"

"Yes. I just put everything. Away before Tanaka alerted me of your presence. You may enter." He stepped out, motioning for Ciel to go before him.

The boy walked past and took a seat on the counter. "So."

Sebastian re-entered and shut the door behind him. "Yes? What did you wish to talk about?"

"What the devil is your problem?" The boy allowed his built up frustration to break free. "You're always ignoring me and refusing to answer my questions directly. You never give me straight answers anymore. You seem to find a way around almost everything I say! I just want to know-" He cut himself off.

"Want to know what, my lord?"

"Sebastian. Tell me now. Do you love me?"

They heard the front door slam open.

"Ohh, Ciiiieeelllll!" The high pitched singsong voice was unmistakeable.

Ciel cringed. "Damn. She's here."


End file.
